It's 3:26am

20/08/2016 09:38

It's 3:26am and I am sitting in semi-darkness in my grandmother's old rocking chair with my baby's soft, warm, little body hugged closely to mine.

He's doing well, a good sleeper, this is the first time he's woken up for a night feed since 6:45pm, but it's still the middle of the night. He has no idea and is sucking away contentedly with his eyes closed. 

I try hard to enjoy these quiet moments when it's just me and him. I know that my nights won't always be interrupted and he'll be grown up too soon. 

I cuddle him just a little bit closer and watch his face and the movement of his cheeks and mouth. 

Then the door opens... son #1 says he needs a pee. I direct him to the bathroom.

Son #2 wakes up shouting, "No! The divers are going to put me in jail! Aaaahhhhhh!"
A bad dream, I think... not sure who "the divers" might be?

Then husband comes in. "All OK?" he asks.

The entire family is awake in the middle of the night! So much for intimate Mummy-baby bonding...

Son #2 settles back to sleep, son #1 and husband kiss me and the baby and then go back to bed.

Once he finishes feeding, the baby is calm and sleepy again, so I put him back in his bed - after a little wiggle and snuffle he drifts off again.

Now I am wired. It feels like I have had 10 cups of coffee or a few too many caffeinated gels. It's 4:15am. A crazy thought, "How about going for a bike ride?" What an idea!
I could get out for an hour, easily, come back, shower, get into bed again and nobody would even notice...

So, I give my husband a kiss, tell him I am going 

out and then wander around SIngapore on my bike in the middle of the night. 
It feels great - along the beach, past quiet, dark, hawker centres that I had never seen empty before, on wide, empty roads and through sleepy residential areas.

For about an hour, I enjoy the warm breeze and the peacefulness of the early morning.

Once home, I shower and get back in bed before 6am and before anyone even notices I was gone. 

At lunchtime, my husband asks me why my bike is out...!